It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.
I adored my father. Simply because he was always there. He never ignored me. Never said “no time now”. Answered my, sometimes potty, questions.
I was 10 when he died and remember very little. Some chapters however are very clear, engraved into my memory. Some things, some thoughts, I will never forget. They are hanging above my head. They suddenly cross my mind, unexpected. Dad wanted me to be a strong girl, becoming a strong women. I always wonder if he would be proud of me, knowing who I become. I have no memories of my father worrying about a thing. When I look at Bart, I see the same. But I know for sure, inside his head are millions thoughts, million little troubles he is not telling me about. Just to shelter me.
I probably idealize the relationship my dad and I have had. But that’s ok. I remember him being a gentle, tall man, very handsome too.
Some time ago I was overthrown with memories. Bart helped me to escape. He learned me not to live in the past. To live now. And I’m doing my very best just to do that. I always said, I would give everything, literally everything to see my father for a few minutes. But it hits me now… I could never give up Bart. Never give up our little family we have with Viva. Recognising that gives me some kind of peace. Knowing that, I can move forward, concentrating on what I have, not what I have had. Although the wonderful memories are there, I have given them a place, they don’t take over my life anymore.
A little piece of my father lives inside of me. It will always be there. And that pleases me… because I want to be alike.
Yes, I over-think, but I also over-love. Nothing in-between. Black or white, unfortunately. In my opinion you cant’s say “I love you a little.” I love all the way or not. Sadly I overthink a lot too. Partly because I am a women and that’s what we do :-). But also because of my character, I suppose. My husband always says: “We will solve a problem, when the problem is showing.” But I? I am searching for solutions for problems that are not even there yet. I do, really. “What if” thoughts. You might recognise it…?
It seems, the more we are worried about something, the more our brain is trained to think about it. And that’s a scary thought. Don’t you think? It can become a vicious cycle and you could put yourself at risk of anxiety disorders in the future. And nooo, you don’t want that, of course. But what to do?
Well… trick your brain.
I have read an article wrote by a clinical psychologist named Pittman. “Telling yourself to not to have a certain thought is not the way to not have the thought” she says. ”You need to replace that thought.” What if I tell you to stop thinking about pink elephants? What are you going to think about? That’s right: pink elephants, for sure. If you don’t want to think about a pink elephant, conjure up an image of, say, a tortoise. “Maybe there’s a big tortoise holding a rose in its mouth as it crawls,” says Pittman. “You’re not thinking about pink elephants now. Are you?”
That being said, there is a truth in the quote like this:
That’s life, I suppose. You take some, you give some. Thinking positive will help being more happy, I believe that. But I also believe this:
No drug is stronger dan the love of a pet. No love more devoted.
By adopting a dog, your life changes. It is an other feeling than buying a pup. You are excited at any rate, of course. But adopting a pet, you realise you adopt his entire past too. Sometimes a very agonizing past. You have to be patient, tolerant, gentle. You need to give a pet the time needed to regain trust in people. Trust in living together. But be a leader at any time. Leadership is something a dog needs, beside all the love. And wow… a dog has such a big heart. He will be thankful for sure. He will be your soul mate for life.
A friend of mine, Sabine, has 4 dogs of her own. One of them is a pup, 1-year-old and so beautiful, named Casper. She thought her family was complete. 4 dogs, her husband and she. But then came Charlie. An old Jack Russel who was found on streets not far from where she is living. No chip. No owner founded. Watching him in a dog shelter, she decided to adopt that beautiful old doggie. It was a conscious decision. Joyfully Charlie was instant accepted by her pack. Casper, Ysis, Nubi and Titi became family of her new dog.
Sabine realises that a lot of care is needed for Charlie. He is at age and weak. His backpack is damages, his ribs bruised. His teeth are a disaster. But ok, he will get the time and care he needs. And knowing she will probably not have him for a long time… the wonderful feeling she gets by looking at him is the more that intense.
I met Charlie and was in love with him too. He is a sweetheart who found his home by Sabine and her dogs. I am very happy and thankful for that.
Please, give an old dog a chance. Give him your heart for the short period he has to spent with you. You will be his entire word. And yes, my husband and I want to adopt an old dog aswell when the time is right for us. You have to be ready to make that decision. It can’t be a caprice. A dog is not for a while, dog is for always…