Understanding…

It’s easy to love when you have love around.

Bart and I don’t have children. Don’t get me wrong, saying… kids are not for us. For more than one reason. Most important one is the fact that we never dreamed about a big family. Neither Bart, nor I. Second big reason is my illness. Bart is 44, I am 41. Sometimes I wonder how come we do not desire having kids. But we just don’t. However, I assure you this: every child looooves Bart. The reason? No idea! In the supermarket children are smiling at him, waving at him, they talk to him. It’s funny sometimes. They smile at me too, but I taste there is more connection with my husband. That is beautiful because we generous care about them. We enjoy having them around, just… not the whole time ūüėČ

Our friends children are in our hearts too. Every time Tamara, a friend of mine, tells they are ill, or not so happy for a reason, my heart breaks. Tha’s what friendship is all about, I suppose. Sympathy that we have for each other.

And yet, I am a mam! Mother of a 4-legged beautiful dog, Viva. I have hard times calling myself her boss. I’m nobody’s boss. I am not an owner of her either. I have her, like you have your children, you don’t own them. So… in that case, I just call myself Viva’s mam. I will never know how it feels to have my own children and that’s ok. If I see loving, caring, beautiful families around me, I am chuffed too. If I see a dog and his… eum… mam or dad looking at each other full of understanding, I am a happy, very happy women too.

Lets don’t judge each other about our lives. We make our own choices. Let’s be tolerant and understanding. I know from my own experience it can be challenging… but you know what? I’m up to that challenge! Are you?

 

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If love could save you, you would have lived forever…

It’s hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember.

I adored my father. Simply because he was always there. He never ignored me. Never said “no time now”. Answered my, sometimes potty, questions.

I was 10 when he died and remember very little. Some chapters however are very clear, engraved into my memory. Some things, some thoughts, I will never forget. They are hanging above my head. They suddenly cross my mind, unexpected. Dad wanted me to be a strong girl, becoming a strong women. I always wonder if he would be proud of me, knowing who I become. I have no memories of my father worrying about a thing. When I look at Bart, I see the same. But I know for sure, inside his head are millions thoughts, million little troubles he is not telling me about. Just to shelter me.

I probably idealize the relationship my dad and I have had. But that’s ok. I remember him being a gentle, tall man, very handsome too.

Some time ago I was overthrown with memories. Bart helped me to escape. He learned me not to live in the past. To live now. And I’m doing my very best just to do that.¬†I always said, I would give everything, literally everything to see my father for a few minutes. But it hits me now… I could never give up Bart. Never give up our little family we have with Viva. Recognising that gives me some kind of peace. Knowing that, I can move forward, concentrating on what I have, not what I have had. Although the wonderful memories are there, I have given them a place, they don’t take over my life anymore.

A little piece of my father lives inside of me. It will always be there. And that pleases me… because I want to be alike.

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An old doggie, named Charlie…

No drug is stronger dan the love of a pet. No love more devoted.

By adopting a dog, your life changes. It is an other feeling than buying a pup. You are excited at any rate, of course. But adopting a pet, you realise you adopt his entire past too. Sometimes a very agonizing past. You have to be patient, tolerant, gentle. You need to give a pet the time needed to regain trust in people. Trust in living together. But be a leader at any time. Leadership is something a dog needs, beside all the love. And wow… a dog has such a big heart. He will be thankful¬†for sure. He will be your soul mate for life.

A friend of mine, Sabine, has 4 dogs of her own. One of them is a pup, 1-year-old and so beautiful, named Casper. She thought her family was complete. 4 dogs, her husband and she. But then came Charlie. An old Jack Russel who was found on streets not far from where she is living. No chip. No owner founded. Watching him in a dog shelter, she decided to adopt that beautiful old doggie. It was a conscious decision. Joyfully Charlie was instant accepted by her pack. Casper, Ysis, Nubi and Titi became family of her new dog.

Sabine realises that a lot of care is needed for Charlie. He is at age and weak. His backpack is damages, his ribs bruised. His teeth are a disaster. But ok, he will get the time and care he needs. And knowing she will probably not have him for a long time… the wonderful feeling she gets by looking at him is the more that intense.

 

 

 

I met Charlie and was in love with him too. He is a sweetheart who found his home by Sabine and her dogs. I am very happy and thankful for that.

Please, give an old dog a chance. Give him your heart for the short period he has to spent with you. You will be his entire word. And yes, my husband and I want to adopt an old dog aswell when the time is right for us. You have to be ready to make that decision. It can’t be a caprice. A dog is not for a while, dog is for always

 

Sabine

Behind perfectly happy…

Are you happy? Your are? Being happy is not enough. It isn’t… At least if you look at social media like Instagram and see all the beyond perfect pictures of families and always smiling people. Then it hits you… being just happy is not enough. You have to be extremely happy. And then you, maybe, fit in…

Such a shame for all of us, living our life’s at Instagram, at FB. Walking around with our phones taking pictures of everything we see without looking at it. Forgetting to live the real life.

Such a shame to not feel the marvellous feelings the fake pictures are telling us.

I am hooked by social media too. Sure I am. I’m not different.

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Because of the algorithms, a few days not liking, means not receiving posts from your friends. We have to stay on top of it. Well, do we have to? No, we want to. But do we really want to?? Do we? Counting likes is a daily routine for many of us. We want to live like in heaven. Daily. And a perfectly timed picture is a perfect proof of that. On paper we do live that life, on paper understood. We are obsessed with happiness. Everything has to be good, better, the best. Living a life, dough, is not like that, unfortunately. We have good days and in-between not that good days. Bed days have their entrance too. That’s life. For every one of us. Whether we want to, or not. For me, being happy is to accept the fact, happiness isn’t always around. And that’s fine. You can’t admire light, without darkness.

If we show the real us, we feel liberating. If we talk how we really feel, we can let things go.

Social media takes so much of our attention, we lose the connection with ourselves from time to time.

Let us live our ordinary lives like it comes. Let us make the best of it, like it is. Please, let us speak to each other in words coming out of our mouths instead of words written down in Messenger, WhatsApp or else.

Are you obsessed by social media? Those steps might help. Detoxing social media

I wish I could give you a hug. Not a virtual one, but a warm hug, my body against yours… just for a second. Just to warm up our minds… to be happy ūüôā

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