How can it be?…

How can my body live together with my mind? It seems impossible. It really is. I am 41 years old, but my body feels like 80. My mind however is still 16!

When I was a child I had polio. I survived it, but couldn’t walk for many years. What I went through then, defines me now, for sure. My mind is stronger. But my body can’t keep up. It’s always behind. It crawls so slowly, it makes my mind desperate. And the worse part is… I can do nothing about it!! I just have to sit and wait till my legs and arms say: ok, we can move again, let’s go. In my head I was 2 times the world around and by the time my legs moved, my mind was tired again. Can you believe it? Impossible, I’m telling you, those two! 😉

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Walk the line…

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At this picture I walk behind my husband Bart. He is the only one I follow blind. Have never trusted someone that much, except my father. When he died at the age of 40, I was sure never to find that kind of man again. But I did. We married in ’99 and till now he is my entire world. Together with our dog Viva, we walk the line of life as a family.

I am very strong-minded. My father taught me to be a voice, not an echo. So I am. Sometimes I wished I was more easy-going. Just following the crowd. They all seem to stick together, somehow. I don’t have that glue on me, I’m afraid. I stand alone, watching… wondering why I don’t fit. A teacher ones told me that I have a beautiful life because my thoughts go deep, are strong and authentic. I hated that idea then and I hate it now. My life would be easer not being that flat-footed and extremely sensitive at the same time. But at the other hand… who I am made me stronger. Strong enough to face pain every day. Maybe my stubbornness  helps me survive the illness I’m dealing with. And together with Bart, I’m not standing alone.

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We are not made to be alone. We are made to walk the line of life with love-ones.