Hope is a promise…

I always thought “hope” was such an overblown term, such a falsified feeling. Till now.

Now I know hope is the only thing keeping us going on during hard times. It really is. No one can say or do anything that will make you feel better if you are on the age. It is such a strong feeling inside. There is no better tomorrow, till hope comes around. Hope is a promise, a goal. Hope opens us to new possibilities.

My chronic illness is killing me inside. Past days I have had so much negative thoughts, dark emotions. I truly wished I could vanish. In silence and dignity.

I can’t live my life with the body I have. My life was not ment to be that kind of horror. It was supposed to be magical. Not a battle against pain and fatigue every single day. But it is and will always be like that for ever. And some period of times, I don’t have hope. At all. And if there is no hope, there is nothing…

And still. There is beauty around us. Helping each other to see that beauty is a wonderful thing. Going trough it together is even more wonderful. Hope is a key concept to see that beauty even though life is hard on you…

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Pain is real, but so is hope.

No tomorrow…

when your body is full of darkness 

in your head is no more light 

when all the brightness is gone 

and all joy vanished 

 

what’s left?

 

when no words can relief the pain

no friend can share your sorrow

 

when your mind stops hoping for tomorrow

and tomorrow is even worse than yesterday

 

where is the place I can rest?

the time I can stop passing by?

where is the hope that gives better tomorrows?

where is my body that does’t hurt that much?

 

what’s left when illness is getting stronger

you weaker each and every day?

what’s left when you don’t know how to stop the life you have.